When my father, Odysseus, and his men sailed off to the Trojan War, they were confident their gods favored a quick victory. Instead, the siege of Troy lasted ten years. After Troy fell, the survivors made their way home to Sparta, Mycenae, Pylos, and elsewhere in the ancient Peloponnese. Neither my father nor any of his troops arrived home with the rest. We waited for years as the news grew worse. Odysseus was dead, we were told,or imprisoned, or, worst yet, he had married another woman and abandoned my mother Penelope, my brother Telemachus, and me.


If he is alive somewhere, his thoughts may wander to Penelope and Telemachus, but he won’t be thinking of me. I am the daughter he doesn’t know exists. Odysseus went off to the Trojan War when his son, Telemachus, was barely old enough to walk. His wife, Penelope, was a teenage bride, and is now a young wife, mother, and queen who has to try to rule Ithaca without him.


I was born seven months after he left. I am a hero’s daughter and a princess of his realm, but I have lived my entire life without a father. I’m nineteen now, and still waiting.


All over the world, and throughout history children grow up as I have. This website will focus on the children of those men and women who have gone off to fight America's wars, and provide information and resources for all who care about military families and want to help.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Quite a Pair

I wrote yesterday about PAIRS, mentioning that although it was designed for couples, it is a good approach to building strong families as well.  Seth  Eisenberg,  President of PAIRS. blogged recently about a mother and daughter, called only by their first names, Mary and Abigail, are using the skills they learned in PAIRS to strengthen their relationship while dad is deployed.
“After the course itself ended with the fourth online session, Mary and Abigail continued to participate in additional online classes to become certified PAIRS Essentials instructors,” Eisenberg writes. “Throughout the program, Abigail talked about how much the experience was helping her personally and also her family. She said she wanted to help other kids and their parents learn to be closer too.”
Abigail,11, reports that using the DTR (Daily Temperature Reading--see yesterday’s entry for details) enabled her to understand herself better, improved he self-esteem, and helped her get along with others. They not only use it with each other, but with Abigail’s deployed father, Edgard, on their frequent voice and video chats. 
As for a recent situation that might in earlier days have turned into a conflict, “[it] didn’t even feel like an argument,” Mary said. “Abigail approached me with a request that I listen to her. She shared how she felt when I told her to do things instead of asking. She said that felt like she was being bossed around. We talked about times I could ask instead of tell.”
“Afterwards,” Mary continued, “we shared our agreement with dad. He agreed with what we’d worked out and said he’d participate too.”
“It felt very good,” Abigail said. “I got to express myself and also let mom know I understand how it is for her. It will help us be closer.”
“Thousands of miles from the battlefield, Mary and Abigail are on the front lines of their own campaign to help families stay strong, connected, and supportive of loved ones during long periods of absence,” Eisenberg says. “Long after the stress and images of war have faded, their efforts will make a lasting difference for many.”
Here’s the link to the PAIRS Foundation. It’s not just for military families, by the way, but it’s good to know the foundation is focusing much of its effort there. 
Posted by About AART at 6:48 AM

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