When my father, Odysseus, and his men sailed off to the Trojan War, they were confident their gods favored a quick victory. Instead, the siege of Troy lasted ten years. After Troy fell, the survivors made their way home to Sparta, Mycenae, Pylos, and elsewhere in the ancient Peloponnese. Neither my father nor any of his troops arrived home with the rest. We waited for years as the news grew worse. Odysseus was dead, we were told,or imprisoned, or, worst yet, he had married another woman and abandoned my mother Penelope, my brother Telemachus, and me.


If he is alive somewhere, his thoughts may wander to Penelope and Telemachus, but he won’t be thinking of me. I am the daughter he doesn’t know exists. Odysseus went off to the Trojan War when his son, Telemachus, was barely old enough to walk. His wife, Penelope, was a teenage bride, and is now a young wife, mother, and queen who has to try to rule Ithaca without him.


I was born seven months after he left. I am a hero’s daughter and a princess of his realm, but I have lived my entire life without a father. I’m nineteen now, and still waiting.


All over the world, and throughout history children grow up as I have. This website will focus on the children of those men and women who have gone off to fight America's wars, and provide information and resources for all who care about military families and want to help.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A Cloud Over the GI Bill


Current provisions of the post-9/11 GI Bill  allow any retired military member with ten 
years of service to transfer his/her education benefits to allow his/her spouse or children to go to college. More than 38,000 military children and spouses went to college this past year with this support. As of today, 145,000 service members have applied to transfer GI Bill benefits to 331,000 children and spouses, as reported by Tom Philpott in a September 17 aarticle in Stars and Stripes.


This has become quite controversial for a number of reasons.  First, the cost is enormous. Congressional auditors estimate the transferability feature would add $10 billion to program costs over the first decade. 
The other problem is that the intent of the GI Bill seems to be subverted by moving the focus away from providing a benefit to the returning soldier to help him/her make a success of life after the military. Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va.), chief architect of the Post-9/11 GI Bill, says that the original concern of the GI Bill was “the citizen soldier who spends a tour and then returns to civilian life.  They are the ones who were to benefit, as they did from the original GI bill, the World War II GI Bill. To help these people get on with the rest of their lives has been my main focus,” Webb said.
Now it seems the military uses transferability as a way to get military personnel to re-enlist. As Webb points out, “I’d like to see senior leaders over there spend more time talking about how great this benefit is for the people who leave the military.  Yet every time I come over they want to talk to me about transferability…I remind them they ought to be just as happy about those people who have gotten out."
DoD has no plans to tighten transferability rules or change the strategy to foster reenlistment. Robert E. Clark, assistant director for accession policy at DoD, says it is a means “to address the force management goals of the services, while allowing career service members to share the benefits they've earned with their families.”
It’s hard to know what to think about this.  It’s great if a parent wants to serve longer as a means to help his or her family, and transferability is fairer to those servicemen and women who, for whatever reason, are not interested in using the GI Bill themselves. Still, I can’t help but picture what it must be like for someone nearing the end of an enlistment period to be told they can help their children more by reenlisting than by going home for good.   Some may not see other options, and some may have decided that the military will be their career, but I would hate to think that any soldier with a young family, who is nearing the end of his or her enlistment, would choose the remote goal of their education over the immediate need to be home to see his or her children grow up. 
Perhaps the added family stability and the example of the college-going parent would increase the likelihood of the children going to college anyway.  Wouldn’t everyone would benefit from that?

Friday, September 17, 2010

Gone Fishin'

 Thirty children of deployed servicemembers in Fort Rucker AL spent a day fishing thanks to members of the Better Opportunities for Single Soldiers (BOSS) program.

BOSS, along with the Hearts Apart program, hosted the annual event.

"It shows that there's a community that supports them whether the family member is gone or temporarily on deployment," Ruth Gonzalez, Army Community Service Relocation Readiness Program manager, said. "We rely on the military as our family."

Adriana Figueroa, 9, said she enjoyed being around other Soldiers, who reminded her of her deployed dad. Pfc. Richard Patton, BOSS and B Company, 1st Battalion, 11th Aviation Regiment member, said he enjoys sharing his love of the sport with youngsters.

"I love to fish and I love teaching kids to fish," he said. "It takes their minds off (their parents being deployed)."

"My children have been bugging me to go fishing," one mother said, reiterating how important it is that her son “gets to do an activity that he relates to his dad. We really appreciate the single Soldiers giving up their Saturday." Here's a link to an article about the day at the lake.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Making Military Children Part of "The Big Day"

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A park in Richmond Hill, Georgia was recently the venue for an outdoor bridal show featuring professional wedding and event planners, photographers, florists, and caterers. Activities over the course of the day netted $1025 in contributions which were donated to Operation Homefront Georgia. 
Operation Homefront was chosen as the recipient of the donation because of their nationwide support for service members, wounded warriors, and their families.  

Charitable efforts play a big part in keeping issues affecting military children in the public eye. It’s encouraging to note that during the flurry of preparations for what is a happy, and admittedly self-centered time, that people are thinking about those whose worries are far different from such things as the perfect cake and the color of bridesmaids’ dresses. 

Pictured are: Corrie Connor, Operation Homefront (left0; Al Smith, Richmond Hill City Center; Christina Anthony Operation Homefront and Christina Waters, Richmond Hill City Center.Courtesy of James Mahon

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The "New Normal" at School?


Many thanks to Lizzy Johnson for telling me about this story, which ran recently on the Today show. A little boy is surprised at school by his father, who has just returned from a long deployment. Imagine this being just one of hundreds of typical days during his father's absence. Watching the child's reaction to his father speaks volumes about the psychological strain this little boy, and other military children, feel below the surface every day their parents are gone. The mother's tears also give a sense of what toll the deployment took on her. Please take the time to watch--it's less than two minutes.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The New Normal?



Educators, administrators and social workers will come together in Springfield, Illinois next month for an institute entitled “Living in the New Normal: Helping Children Thrive in Good and Challenging Times." Brought about by concerns about military children dealing with illness, injury, or death of a parent, the "Living in the New Normal," or LINN, initiative was developed by experts in the fields of trauma and grief, resiliency, health care, and child development.
LINN encourages families to develop coping skills, supports homefront efforts on behalf of children, and provides educators and others with information of use in helping children be resilient and courageous during times of uncertainty, trauma, and grief.


This is good, of course, and all such efforts are important.  Still, I can't help but be saddened by the resignation that seems to be part of calling this "the new normal."  Do we really want to think that way?  Once we've accepted children's uncertainty, trauma, and grief as byproducts of their parents' military service, to what low will the next "new normal" slip?

Monday, September 13, 2010

Military Children Need Less?

I saw this yesterday and wondered how it could be, with all the good will toward military families that seems to exist today, that this high-profile and successful program has to worry about funding.  Why can't we text a contribution to causes affecting military children and have it put on our phone bill?  We can do what we put our minds to as a nation.  Why not make everyone's children our own?

Operation Purple in Jeopardy

ALEXANDRIA, Va., Sept. 3 /PRNewswire/ -- As the Nation prepares for the unofficial wind up of summer 2010, 10,000 children of active duty military service members are in jeopardy of losing one of the largest private programs helping them cope with the lengthy and repeated deployments of their parents. Without funding from the private sector in the coming months, Operation Purple Camps will not be around in the summer of 2011, according to the National Military Family Association, which runs the program in nearly 70 locations in more than 30 states.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Military Kids Are Newman's Own

The late Paul Newman is well known for his philanthropy, donating the profits from innumerable “Newman’s Own” food products to charity. One of those efforts was the establishment in 1999 of the Newman’s Own Awards, which awards innovative programs working to improve the military community’s quality of life.
Since the Newman’s Own Awards competition began in 1999, it has recognized 133 programs with $650,000. The competition is sponsored by Newman’s Own, Fisher House Foundation, and Military Times Media Group. The grants are small, but the focus is on small, grassroots programs for whom a few thousand dollars will provide a big boost.
Military to Medicine a national military service organization of the Inova Health system, received the top award of $15,000 to help service members and spouses fast-track a career by streamlining the process of getting skills for entry-level positions in health care. 
A few of the other Newman’s Own Award winners this year include Carolina Canines for Veterans, Wilmington, N.C., a program that uses military prisoners to train dogs rescued from shelters to be service animals for wounded veterans.
Project Sanctuary Therapeutic Retreats, in Parker, Colorado helps military families reconnect following lengthy separations. It starts with a free, five-night therapeutic mountain retreat, then helps the family in a comprehensive two-year program.
Operation Building Hope, in Fuquay-Varina, N.C., adapts disabled veterans’ homes using volunteers to construct and install ramps and rails, modify bathrooms, lower countertops and widen doorways. 
Two more programs were of special interest to me as an educator. Working through libraries, Books on Bases gives free books to military families. And, most delightful of all, Kids Blossom Through Gardening, a Dover Air Force Base program, was developed to educate military children about good nutrition and healthy habits. Kids learn about the benefits of fruits and vegetables and have a chance to plant and tend their own container gardens.