When my father, Odysseus, and his men sailed off to the Trojan War, they were confident their gods favored a quick victory. Instead, the siege of Troy lasted ten years. After Troy fell, the survivors made their way home to Sparta, Mycenae, Pylos, and elsewhere in the ancient Peloponnese. Neither my father nor any of his troops arrived home with the rest. We waited for years as the news grew worse. Odysseus was dead, we were told,or imprisoned, or, worst yet, he had married another woman and abandoned my mother Penelope, my brother Telemachus, and me.


If he is alive somewhere, his thoughts may wander to Penelope and Telemachus, but he won’t be thinking of me. I am the daughter he doesn’t know exists. Odysseus went off to the Trojan War when his son, Telemachus, was barely old enough to walk. His wife, Penelope, was a teenage bride, and is now a young wife, mother, and queen who has to try to rule Ithaca without him.


I was born seven months after he left. I am a hero’s daughter and a princess of his realm, but I have lived my entire life without a father. I’m nineteen now, and still waiting.


All over the world, and throughout history children grow up as I have. This website will focus on the children of those men and women who have gone off to fight America's wars, and provide information and resources for all who care about military families and want to help.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

DePLAYment

This is officially the Year of the Air Force Family. Around the country Air Force Bases have mounted activities to strengthen families and make deployments easier to endure. One such initiative, the DePLAYment Program, ended July 31. Over 10,000 families participated in the program of free classes and sports activities for children of deployed military members, and free or discounted family programs for the deployed members' entire family. In Charleston, for example, program activities included the following:
· Ten hours of free child care at the Child Development Center
· Free annual Youth Center membership
· Up to $50 per child forTae Kwon Do or dance classes
· Up to $50 per child in various fee-charging team sports 
· Free family bowling nights
· Free family golf clinics
· Free family arts and crafts activities
· Free bicycle tour of historic Charleston
· Free family canoe trip
· Free family day trip to Darlington Motor Speedway's "Nationwide 200"
In his recent article Happy Homecomings, Lt. Col. (Dr.) Howard Givens, 628th Medical Operations Squadron commander at Joint Base Charleston, has this to say about such activities:
“In my experience, both as a physician and as a military member who has recently deployed, many families do not recognize the significant stress that a deployment will put on each person in a family - including the spouse and each child. Families are already busy with school, sports, and community activities and may plan to continue all their normal activities without considering the additional stressors associated with the deployment.”  
Givens explains that during deployment, “ family members may experience stress related to separation from the military member, changes in responsibilities at home, and changes in recreation because the deployed family member is not available to participate. These stressors may not seem intimidating by themselves, but taken together and over a period of months, they begin to have an effect on the individual - and on the family.”
Deployment affects everyone differently, and families may have widely varying reactions. “Some children will be able to ‘soldier on’ through a deployment with little apparent effect on their physical or psychological health. Other children in the same family may struggle at school or in relationships, have sleep difficulties or even physical illness while trying to cope with the stress of their parent's deployment.” 
Givens is a strong supporter of planning before deployment not just the most obvious necessities, but also the leisure activities that will keep spirits up. Many of the activities of the dePLAYment program are actually available year-round, and it is a good idea to begin working them into children’s lives before the parent’s departure.  How much better it would be to remember doing something with dad or mom, rather than adding even new forms of fun to the many changes children undergo.

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