When my father, Odysseus, and his men sailed off to the Trojan War, they were confident their gods favored a quick victory. Instead, the siege of Troy lasted ten years. After Troy fell, the survivors made their way home to Sparta, Mycenae, Pylos, and elsewhere in the ancient Peloponnese. Neither my father nor any of his troops arrived home with the rest. We waited for years as the news grew worse. Odysseus was dead, we were told,or imprisoned, or, worst yet, he had married another woman and abandoned my mother Penelope, my brother Telemachus, and me.


If he is alive somewhere, his thoughts may wander to Penelope and Telemachus, but he won’t be thinking of me. I am the daughter he doesn’t know exists. Odysseus went off to the Trojan War when his son, Telemachus, was barely old enough to walk. His wife, Penelope, was a teenage bride, and is now a young wife, mother, and queen who has to try to rule Ithaca without him.


I was born seven months after he left. I am a hero’s daughter and a princess of his realm, but I have lived my entire life without a father. I’m nineteen now, and still waiting.


All over the world, and throughout history children grow up as I have. This website will focus on the children of those men and women who have gone off to fight America's wars, and provide information and resources for all who care about military families and want to help.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

A Dose of Reality for the Rest of Us


Some people wonder what the fuss is about military children. They have at least one working parent (even if deployed), one parent at home (usually), a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and something many Americans do not--health insurance.
Bruce Lesley, President of First Focus, a bipartisan advocacy organization dedicated to making children and families a priority in federal policy and budget decisions, has written a superb blog entry in the Huffington Post this morning. In “Our Military Families Under Fire” he and co-author Kate Sylvester, explain why such a view is misguided.
Military parents are for the most part young, near poverty, and coping with many stresses not found in most other families. According to Lesley and Sylvester, over a third of first-time military parents are 21 or younger. Stop for a minute to think about that. Under 21. Over a third.
Military pays starts at around $2,800 a month (including allowances for food and housing). “In the families of junior service members that have only one working parent and more than one child,” Lesley and Sylvester point out, “household incomes often fall below 200 percent of the federal poverty level -- the benchmark that child advocates suggest puts families at risk.” Many children attending DoD schools qualify for free or reduced lunches. 11.6 percent of military families are eligible to apply for Earned Income Tax Credit.
Multiple deployments are another stressor on families. Admiral Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, pointed out bluntly in a recent Veteran's Day address, "If you took any 11-year-old or younger military child, it's all they've known their whole lives." Why 11 years? That’s how long we’ve been at war. Five years from now, for many American children, it will just be a matter of adjusting their age in that statement, unless something changes.

The National Center for Children in Poverty recently released a study showing that one in five American children has a diagnosable mental health disorder, and that military children have an even higher incidence of emotional and behavioral problems. Just by virtue of being military children, they are now classified with children and youth in low-income households and those in the child welfare and juvenile justice systems, as at risk for mental health problems.
Wives with deployed husbands have more mental health issues than those whose husbandsare at home, a study on Army wives published earlier this year in the New England Journal of Medicine tells us. One study shows an alarming 42 percent rise in maltreatment of children during a combat parent's deployment, almost always at the hands of an overburdened, overstressed mother.
Only about half of returning servicemembers affected by PTSD or other mental problems seek help, and a recent Army study indicates that their new state of mind includes negative coping mechanisms such as substance abuse and domestic violence. According to Lesley and Sylvester, spousal abuse or child maltreatment has increased by 177 percent in 6 years.
When military service ends, the problems are just beginning for many young families. March 2010 Bureau of Labor Statistics figures show that unemployment rate for 18- to 24-year-old vets was 21 percent--double that of the general population. Many of these young veterans can't support their families, or realize they won’t be able to before their enlistment is up, and stay in the military for the safety net it provides. This, of course, continues and in many cases aggravates all the issues discussed above.
Serious, serious problems indeed.

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