When my father, Odysseus, and his men sailed off to the Trojan War, they were confident their gods favored a quick victory. Instead, the siege of Troy lasted ten years. After Troy fell, the survivors made their way home to Sparta, Mycenae, Pylos, and elsewhere in the ancient Peloponnese. Neither my father nor any of his troops arrived home with the rest. We waited for years as the news grew worse. Odysseus was dead, we were told,or imprisoned, or, worst yet, he had married another woman and abandoned my mother Penelope, my brother Telemachus, and me.


If he is alive somewhere, his thoughts may wander to Penelope and Telemachus, but he won’t be thinking of me. I am the daughter he doesn’t know exists. Odysseus went off to the Trojan War when his son, Telemachus, was barely old enough to walk. His wife, Penelope, was a teenage bride, and is now a young wife, mother, and queen who has to try to rule Ithaca without him.


I was born seven months after he left. I am a hero’s daughter and a princess of his realm, but I have lived my entire life without a father. I’m nineteen now, and still waiting.


All over the world, and throughout history children grow up as I have. This website will focus on the children of those men and women who have gone off to fight America's wars, and provide information and resources for all who care about military families and want to help.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Finding Their Way


I ran across another book that seems to be a good resource for military children dealing with parents who have experienced trauma.  Though not specifically written for military situations, the book has been highly acclaimed by many people working in military programs and settings. The book is Finding My Way, Part One of Finding My Way: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma, by Michelle and DeAnne Sherman. The book lucidly explains PTSD and other common responses to trauma, discusses other problems (including addictive behavior) that may occur as a result, and describes numerous treatment options. Part Two encourages teens to identify and accept their own strong emotions including anger, fear, confusion, sadness, and shame. This is a particularly valuable aspect of the book because it includes workbook style exercises that help the teen not only process feelings but develop loving and assertive means of bringing their issues to the attention of others, and learn coping skills for what won’t change any time soon. Here is a link to a few pages in this section. Part Three includes frequently asked questions, a glossary, and an extensive resource list. 
The web page for the book contains many testimonials from prestigious people, but here are a few specifically from family mental health advocates connected to the military.
"FINALLY! A book designed to empower teens to understand and cope with a traumatized parent. A vital tool for teens, parents and helping professionals. Speaks to teens in straightforward language and depersonalizes the reasons for their parents' behavior. Most importantly, it helps teens develop coping skills to deal with the aftermath of trauma." Laura Lochner, Ph.D., Psychologist. Former Chief of the Life Skills Support Center, Head of the Critical Incident Stress Management Team, and Head of the Mental Health Disaster Team at Tinker Air Force Base, Oklahoma.
"Has received rave reviews by our network and could not have come at a better time…provides information, coping skills and communication strategies to help (teens) normalize their (military) experience while offering them the hope they need to grow."Megan Turak, Executive Vice President, Military Family Network (2008).
"Within our professional development, two-day institute [Living in the New Normal], we purchase and use Finding My Way. It has proven to be very well received and is a great resource…such a clear and approachable method that is extremely useful on many levels."Mary Keller, Ed.D., Executive Director, Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC).
"An extremely practical and compelling guide which embodies extensive research and clinical wisdom. Most importantly, it’s written from the heart as a gift to families struggling with the aftermath of trauma." Lieutenant Commander Tim Reimann, United States Navy Reserve.
"Thousands of young people in Minnesota will need this book." Gail Mossman, Youth and Child Coordinator, Minnesota National Guard.
"Finally—a book that explains PTSD in simple language and guides teens in coping and healing. This useful, sensitive book provides a practical toolbox for the reader. I highly recommend this book for the whole family and for therapists/teachers who are looking for ways to help." Richard A. Carothers, Ph.D., Psychologist. Past Chair of the Veterans Affairs Section (Division 18) of the American Psychological Association.
Posted by About AART at 6:48 AM

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