Hiatus

Though the two meaningful markers of a new year for me are in the fall--the start of school and the High Holy Days--I can’t help but get swept up in all the reflection and resolution making going on around me this time of year. I have spent some time in the last week or so thinking about the future of Xanthe’s World, and I have decided that I can’t continue to make it the same level of priority it has been since late summer, when I began blogging daily. This is my142nd blog post, and I am feeling at this point that I have uncovered and presented the major things that need to be said, sometimes more than once.

I have thought about going to once a week rather than daily, but I have so many other things I must pay attention to professionally in 2011 (a return to full-time teaching after a sabbatical, a third novel coming out in April while I am still busy promoting Penelope’s Daughter, a fourth novel to sell and bring along to publication, and a fifth to write). I am not sure how much decreased frequency would help, since the blog would still have to be on my mind all the time, or even whether new entries would add that much to what is already there.

As a result, I have decided to put Xanthe’s World on hiatus. I will pick it back up if there appears to be a need, but you will have to tell me that via your comments here.

One of the things that made me decide the time is right is the appearance yesterday of a cover story in the New York Times summarizing many of the issues I have been blogging about. My goal was always to bring these issues to people’s attention, but clearly with the NYT weighing in, my concerns will get an airing well beyond what I can give them. I figure if I leave this link as my second-to-the-top blog entry, the story will continue to have an audience from anyone coming to my blog.

My last entry, at least for now, will be tomorrow, New Year’s Day 2011. In it, I will summarize what I have learned and what I am concerned about as I relinquish my voice in this blog. I will continue to blog from time to time for The Huffington Post when new issues affecting military children arise. For now, I’ll just say here that I am grateful that the dedication of Penelope’s Daughter to “all the children left behind when fathers and mothers go off to war” took me on such a meaningful and eye-opening journey, and I hope you feel more knowledgeable as well.

Hidden Costs

NPR’s Alix Spiegel aired a story earlier this month about female veterans and the alarming rate of suicide among those returning from deployments. The journal Psychiatric Services recently published a study by Portland State University researcher Mark Kaplan, looking at female deaths by suicide in 16 states. He compared the rate of suicide among female veterans to that among female civilians, and found that female vets age 34 and younger are 3 times as likely to commit suicide than their civilian peers. About 20 percent of the suicides in the US each year are veterans, but because women make up a small percentage of veterans, their special situation is often overlooked.

Spiegel cites a story told by Dr. Jan Kemp, head of the Department of Veterans Affairs' National Suicide Prevention Hotline, about a female vet recently returned from deployment who collected up a large number of pills, drove her car to a remote area and called the hotline to relay a message to her husband. "She had had a recent argument with her husband and had come to the conclusion that he and her two young children would be better off without her," Kemp said. She had PTSD as well as a history of MST (military sexual trauma), which is apparently a significant part of the profile in many female veteran suicides. This story had a better ending than most, for the call was traceable by GPS, and she was found unconscious but still alive.

Women who call the hotline, Kemp says, talk much more about their children than men tend to. "They worry that because they sometimes get angry and don't deal with things well that they won't be appropriate with their kids," she said. "And I think that is one of the things that it most poignant on the hotline is when young mothers call and they're concerned about their ability to take care of their children because of their problems."

As more women find themselves on the front lines of the war on terror, it’s easy to predict this problem will grow. Though they will remain a small subset of a subset of overall suicides, we owe consideration of this problem to these women and the families they will leave behind if strong programs and strategies are not forthcoming.

On the Move

An estimated 1 in 88 military children has an autism-spectrum disorder, higher than the national average. Military life is already tough on these children, who need order and stability. Intensive Behavioral Interventions, a well documented successful strategy to help these chidlren, is so helpful that 23 states define this treatment as “medically necessary” and require private insurers to cover it. The Navy surgeon general, the Army surgeon general and the chief medical officer of the Coast Guard all recommend that the Pentagon fund these services via the military health care system. 

Sounds great, but the Pentagon covers only a part of the cost, which can run to more than $65,000 annually. Military families end up applying for help through state Medicaid programs, which means that ever time they move to another state, they must reapply and often spend years on state waiting lists.

Kate Sylvester is vice president of military families for the America’s Promise Alliance and First Focus, a bipartisan children’s advocacy organization, points out in a recent Politico article,  that “providing recommended levels of care for special-needs children can be expensive. But it’s also expensive when service members 

accumulate so much debt that they lose their security clearances. Or when highly trained service members, such as combat helicopter pilots or air traffic controllers, leave the service prematurely because their children cannot get proper treatment.”  It seems there are no easy choices in today’s military when it comes to balancing service with family.

In 2009, the Defense Department offered a program called My Career Advancement Account, providing military spouses $6,000 stipends to pay for training in what are sometimes called “portable professions.” Blue Star Families, a military-family support group, reports that of the 61 percent of spouses who don’t work outside the home, 48 percent want to work but can’t do so because of their highly mobile lifestyle. Presumably that number is even higher in this economic downturn.

The program became a victim of its own popularity. My CAA now pays $4,000 tuition only for associate-degree programs, professional licenses, and vocational certificates, and is now available only to spouses of junior service members. The point of the program was to encourage retention, but now spouses of servicemembers promoted above a certain level will find themselves ineligible--a great reward for high quality service!  Likewise, if a spouse waits to start training until after the children start school, it may be too late, and if a four-year degree is desired (such as an RN), the Pentagon won’t help.

Cuts are needed, and everyone screams when what happens affects him or her personally, but surely military families deserve more thoughtful consideration to their needs. 

Not Alone

Not Alone  is a website providing “programs, resources and services to warriors and families impacted by combat stress and PTSD through a confidential and anonymous community.”  It contains articles, blogs, profiles and stories of individuals, links to resources and other helpful means to ensure that suffering servicemembers know that are not alone.  It’s worth a look.  Among the symptoms of PTSD are the following:


• Feelings of extreme loneliness and alienation
• Feelings of being unlike other people
• Feeling disconnected from other people
• Loss of sense of security in relationships and in the world in general
• Alternating between trying harder and giving up
• Stress on significant relationships(marriage, etc)
• Helplessness, hopelessness, and anger, often leading to rage


It's not just returning servicemembers who experience this, but family members who have never had direct experiences with trauma, as well as many who have non-combat experiences of similar intensity.  There's strength in awareness, so check it out.

The Weight of the War

 Since the 9/11 terrorist attacks, 787,000 Guard members and reservists have been called to active duty, the most since World War II. A half-million have deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan – and 200,000 have served multiple tours. Think for a moment. National Guard and Reserves. 

Joining the National Guard in the past has been a different kind of commitment that joining the regular military.  It’s a just-in-case kind of operation, which demands some time each month but allows for a normal life at home otherwise. Reserves are just that--ones that aren’t called upon except in emergencies because they have already served.  Whatever one thinks of the war--why we went and whether we should stay--it is a very serious matter that our country has used, and used, and used a human resource it normally shouldn’t have called on at all.

Why is this a problem? Being in the Guard or reserves isn’t a job.  These are people with other jobs, living wherever they want around our country. Many of these servicemembers are older, with more responsibilities to family. Their families do not have, because normally they would not need, many of the support services that full-time active duty service members on or near military installations take advantage of. 

Outside the military community, few seem to understand how so much of the weight of the war has fallen on the shoulders of such servicemembers.  This is the price a few of us are paying for an all-volunteer military.  Just as we are being told that solving our economic crisis will cut us all deeply and painfully, perhaps it is time to say that if we want to take the fight to the terrorists, we will have to be prepared for similar changed in our way of life and similar nationwide sacrifice for our mutual defense. 

Kaylee

Here's a beautiful story about a five-year-old girl from Dixon, California, Kaylee Hubbard, who collected new toys from her kindergarten class and others to donate them to injured servicemembers hospitalized at Travis Air Force Base and in the Bay Area.  That way, when their children visited them at Christmastime, the hospitalized parent would have presents to give them.   Click here to see a heartwarming video from KCRA News.

Bells

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

Their old familiar carols play,

And wild and sweet the words repeat

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:

"There is no peace on earth," I said,

"For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Playing Santa

Santa took to the road a few days back.  Northern Virginia donors and volunteers affiliated with the Our Military Kids’ Wounded Warrior Program provided gifts to nearly 100 military children across the country. Bob Nelson, a real estate agent in Great Falls and Gloria Schaefer, a volunteer, coordinated the effort. Schaefer took responsibility for two brothers, 13 and 10, brothers, whose father was injured serving in Iraq with the National Guard. 

Both of the children had asked for bikes. Due to their father's injury, the bikes had to arrive fully assembled, which made shipping difficult, so Schaefer and her husband drove from McLean, Virginia to Montgomery, Ala. to deliver two fully assembled bicycles in person. 

“After speaking with the family, I knew this was the only option,” said Schaefer. “These kids, along with all the other children of Wounded Warriors, deserve to have Santa visit their homes.” 

Xanthe's World: Snowballing

Xanthe's World: Snowballing: "American Airlines offered something very nice to children who have lost a parent while on active duty since September 11, 2001. The airline..."

Snowballing

American Airlines offered something very nice to children who have lost a parent while on active duty since September 11, 2001. The airline flew 1300 families to Dallas for an all-expenses-paid weekend getaway two weeks ago. They went to Six Flags and attended special concerts and other activities

Inaugurated in 2006, The Snowball Express is designed to give these children and their surviving parent  a few days of fun and a change to meet others like themselves. Here’s a video of the wonderful ceremonies held at the Tulsa airport to send six families off.

"I really think it's nice of them, whoever is doing this," said ten-year-old Koby Mackey, from Tulsa, whose father died in 2008. "It really means a lot to me knowing that somebody cares," his thirteen-year-old brother Ryan adds.

"I think it's real great that people have volunteered their time for us," JR Graham said.  His father was killed by a suicide bomber.

The surviving parents also say that spending time with other families helps them  "It's nice to have somebody to bounce some ideas off of or, 'My kid's going through this. Have you dealt with it yet?' one of the mothers said.

In the end, however much events like this help, "it doesn't change the fact that he's gone," JR Graham said.  

Managing at Home

In some respects being a military spouse with a deployed partner is no different from being a single parent.  When a child is ill or hospitalized, or when emergencies arise, you have to handle it yourself, call in favors from friends and family, and suffer the consequences of missing work or, in some cases, school.  In others, of course, it is.  There’s a relationship you are trying to keep intact and strong, and there is the fear of knowing that someone you love and are committed to is in harm’s way.

Likewise, as difficult as it is on your end, there’s a partner too far away to help, who wants nothing more than to be there with you. 

The stress on deployed military personnel and their family is uniquely difficult. Even though most spouses understand what they are getting into when they marry someone in the military, it can still be way more difficult that they imagined.

“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life,” says Kate, 23, whose husband, Sean, is a staff sergeant in the Air Force.  “I got married at 19; I didn’t by any means think this would be easy. But I didn’t think my son would sit in the car and cry for his daddy and there was nothing I could do about it.”

An article, “The Life and Challenges of One Deployed Beaufort Military Family,” tells Kate and Sean’s story.  She’s the mother of two toddlers, and also a full-time college student. What makes it more difficult, she says, is the general public misunderstanding her family’s unique situation. “People tell me all the time, ‘Well you knew what you were getting into,’” Kate says. “The sheer lack of support from the general public makes me so mad.”

For example,when she missed class during her son’s recent illness, one of her professors questioned her ability to continue in the class. “I told him ‘Look, I’m a single parent right now, my GPA is a 3.94, and my husband’s in a war zone. My child will come first, but I will ace all your exams,” she says.

Kevin and Stacy are another Beaufort-based Marine couple, with a toddler daughter, Meghan. Kevin  recently returned from his third deployment. They kept in touch once or twice a week, depending on the weather over there. “If there’s a sandstorm it won’t happen for at least a week.”  They also text messages and call each other on the cell phones, incurring huge, but in their minds, worthwhile bills.

In addition, families use other objects to comfort children missing their parents. “We made a pillowcase for Collin that has pictures of him and his dad and it says ‘Sweet dreams, Daddy loves you,’ so Daddy goes to bed with him each night,” Kate says. Collin also has a doll from HugaHero.com with a photo of his father and an internal voice recorder where Sean recorded messages for his son. Before Kevin deployed in January, he videotaped himself reading books for Meghan, now 3, and her little brother, Connor, 1.

Missing milestones is also difficult. “Kevin missed Connor’s first birthday and Meghan’s first birthday, but he was able to do the webcam. So he saw the cake, balloons, all that stuff,” Stacy says. “It’s not quite the same, but it’s better than not having him at all.”

Love From a Distance

The National Fatherhood Initiative recently posted a good article outlining a number of ideas for ways a deployed parent can stay close to his or her children. These are easily adaptable for anyone separated from beloved children. 

Put a “Message in a Bottle”
Before leaving, write as many short messages to your child as you can and put them in a special container. The child can pull out one message a day.  You could either write the number you know you need, or send an envelope full of replenishing messages.  I used to leave a note in my children’s lunch bags every school morning when they were still in primary grades.  They loved it. This one would be easily adaptable for grandparents or others, and could be set up like an advent calendar, with messages linked to how many days remaining until you are reunited.

Draw Pictures for Your Children

When I was young, everything my parents drew made me happy.  It was better than I could do but unskilled enough that I could laugh at how funny it looked, and how they weren’t the most perfect, talented, and smart people in all of creation after all. So go for it!  Start with a simple picture of you and your child. Maybe go on from there to draw a few more of you going about the things you will be doing while you are away. 

The other suggestions are behind the scenes things that will benefit your children even if they won’t really know you have done them.  First is getting your house in order--taking care of any financial issues, squaring away paperwork and legal documents, and making sure the parent staying behind knows how to manage everything. 

Another suggestion is to spend a little time studying child development, perhaps even taking a book with you.  That way you will have a better sense of what to expect on your return, and you will also be able to ask more focused questions and understand better what the parent remaining behind is telling you about what the children are up to.

There are many ways to love in absentia.  The most important, of course, is just to do it.  But there are ways to make it show when you aren’t there, and these are just a few of them. 

Lilly Endowment Steps Up

Lilly Endowment Inc. has given $6.3 million to the Military Family Research Institute at Purdue. "Millions of military families in our country are recovering from, or still experiencing, challenges related to combat deployment," says the institute's director, Shelley MacDermid Wadsworth.

"Our state and our nation are in a critical period that will determine whether recent veterans will suffer the same troubling levels of poverty, homelessness and health problems experienced by their predecessors. If we fail to do a good job of serving those who have served our country, we all will pay the price."

The Military Family Research Institute's (MFRI) efforts include Passport Toward Success, helping military children and families reconnect after deployment. Also, mini-grants of up to $2,500 are provided to Family Readiness and Community Mobilization groups developing community activities to help military families. Operation Purple Camp, a free camp for military children that I have written about in the past, also runs a campsite at Purdue. Its funding was jeopardized by the loss of its main donor last year. The photo at right is of campers at one of its many sites. Operation Diploma, supports college and university programs that help veterans succeed on campus.

"MFRI's goal is to make Indiana a better place for military families and to generate tools and insights here that can benefit military families everywhere," said Wadsworth, who is a professor of child development and family studies at Purdue.

Lilly Endowment Inc. is an Indianapolis-based, philanthropic foundation. The Military Family Research Institute, part of the Center for Families in Purdue's College of Health and Human Sciences, is the leading academic institution in the country specializing in research about military families.

For more information, click here.

Better Than Socks or a Tie

I'm going "off-message" today to pass along information about some little-known charities, none focusing on military children, that are the subject of an excellent column by Nicholas Kristol in today's NY Times. Here are some ways to do something more meaningful than paw through merchandise at crowded stores this holiday season.  

Courtesy Mr. Kristol, here are his suggestions:

"Arzu (ArzuStudioHope.org) employs women in Afghanistan to make carpets for export. The women get decent wages, but their families must commit to sending children to school and to allowing women to attend literacy and health classes and receive medical help in childbirth. Rugs start at $250 and bracelets at $10, or a $20 donation pays for a water filter for a worker’s family.

"First Book (firstbook.org) addresses a basic problem facing poor kids in America: They don’t have books. One study found that in low-income neighborhoods, there is only one age-appropriate book for every 300 children. So First Book supports antipoverty organizations with children’s books — and above all, gets kids reading. A $100 gift will supply 50 books for a mentor to tutor a child in reading for a year. And $20 will get 10 books in the hands of kids to help discover the joys of reading.

"Fonkoze (fonkoze.org) is a terrific poverty-fighting organization if Haiti is on your mind, nearly a year after the earthquake. A $20 gift will send a rural Haitian child to elementary school for a year, while $50 will buy a family a pregnant goat. Or $100 supports a family for 13 weeks while it starts a business.

"Another terrific Haiti-focused organization is Partners in Health, (pih.org), founded by Dr. Paul Farmer, the Harvard Medical School professor. A $100 donation pays for enough therapeutic food (a bit like peanut butter) to treat a severely malnourished child for one month. Or $50 provides seeds, agricultural implements and training for a family to grow more food for itself.

"Panzi Hospital (panzifoundation.org) treats victims of sexual violence in eastern Congo, rape capital of the world. It’s run by Dr. Denis Mukwege, who should be a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize. A $10 donation pays for transport to the hospital for a rape survivor; $100 pays for counseling and literacy and skill training for a survivor for a month.

"Camfed (camfed.org), short for the Campaign for Female Education, sends girls to school in Africa and provides a broad support system for them. A $300 donation pays for a girl to attend middle school for a year in rural Zambia, and $25 sends a girl to elementary school.

"The Nurse-Family Partnership program (nursefamilypartnership.org) is a stellar organization in the United States that works with first-time mothers to try to break the cycle of poverty. It sends nurses to at-risk women who are pregnant for the first time, continuing the visits until the child turns 2. The result seems to be less alcohol and drug abuse during pregnancy, and better child-rearing afterward, so that the children are less likely to tangle with the law even years later. A $150 gift provides periodic coaching and support for a young nurse by a senior nurse for a month.

"Edna Hospital (ednahospital.org) is a dazzling maternity hospital in Somaliland, an area with one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world. Edna Adan Ismail, a Somali nurse- midwife who rose in the ranks of the World Health Organization and also served as Somaliland’s foreign minister, founded the hospital with her life’s savings and supports it with her United Nations pension. A $50 gift pays for a woman to get four prenatal visits, a hospital delivery, and one postnatal visit. Or $150 pays for a lifesaving C-section for a woman in obstructed labor.

"The Somaly Mam Foundation fights sex slavery in Cambodia and around the world (somaly.org). It is run by Somaly Mam, who was sold into Cambodian brothels as a young girl before escaping years later. For $50, you can buy a lovely silk scarf made by a trafficking survivor; $25 buys a necklace made by a survivor."

I'm a writer, so Firstbook.org is the one that caught my eye, plus it is closer to home, where needs are so great.  Which one grabbed you?  Please donate today.

"They're Tired"

I’ve added another website to my list of resources for military families and those interested in their well being.  It’s the Coalition for Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans .  According to their website, the CIAV “is a national non-partisan partnership of organizations committed to working with and on behalf of all military, veterans, families, survivors and providers to strengthen the existing system of care and support for all those affected by the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

A recent article, “Study: Military Teens Have More Stress,”  points out that the focus is often on younger children, but military teenagers are experiencing significant levels of stress as well.  It’s based on the Rand Corporation study that appeared recently in Pediatrics. 

Researchers analyzed data from more than 1500 households with military children from 11 to 17 years old and nondeployed caregivers. Sources of difficulty during deployment included taking on more household responsibilities and missing school activities. Older children said it was hard to get to know the deployed parent again upon his or her return, and they were worried about the next deployment. Confusing mood changes and  differences in how their parents were getting along were also stressful for the children.

“The main parent at home is trying to juggle so many balls that some of those balls get dropped,” one participating parent said. “I find it hard to believe that you can do it all, and so by virtue of that, since I’m the adult in the picture, sometimes I don’t have time to listen to my kids.” “There was nobody big to look up to,” her son  said. “Sometimes when my mom was away, there wasn’t anybody else to help me with my homework, something personal like that, or throw a football with me.”

Around 30 percent of the children interviewed reported symptoms of anxiety, compared to 9 to 15 percent of the general population of children the same age. For reasons that have yet to be well understood, girls have more problems with the reintegration of a deployed parent into the family, the study found. The data was collected in summer 2008, but researchers have followed up with the families twice since then, and will release findings on the next phase in a few months.

The National Military Family Association, which co-funded the study, will use the results to design future programs. Joyce Raezer, executive director of NMFA, says, “I can see the strain when I have an employee or a volunteer whose spouse is on their second or third deployment,” she said. “These are brave, committed, dedicated folks determined to do what they need to do, and they work very hard to hold it together, but they’re tired.”

Heading for the Y

This is really good news. A national partnership between the U.S. Department of Defense and the YMCA will provide free memberships, including day care, wellness programs and counseling services to families of deployed National Guard and military service members for six months, as well as for three months before and after the deployment. The partnership started Oct. 1, 2010, although many YMCAs had already been providing some of these services on their own initiative.  

The YMCA of Central Maryland, for example, has been providing free services for more than 500 families of deployed National Guard members since the start of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. With this new partnership, this YMCA and others can reach out to and accommodate more families of service members on a more systematic basis, although the program is still at this point limited to those stationed at specific bases. 

“We know these programs are key to personal health and well-being, help build strong families, and reduce stress and feelings of isolation,” said David Chu, undersecretary for the Defense Department’s personnel and readiness office.“For us, this is a very natural extension.”

“This new initiative will go a long way to help America’s military families live healthy lives,” said retired Navy Rear Adm. Frank Gallo, the YMCA’s armed services director.

This is a great start, but it may be more important to focus on families not stationed at major bases, where it may already be easier to get free access to the kinds of activities and services the YMCA provides.  It’s the families living away from these services who might benefit most from YMCA membership, and I hope this is part of the plan for the future.

Read Me a Story

Be There Bedtime Stories is a website designed to connect far-flung families over the experience of reading.  Much like the creators of United Through Reading, my favorite philanthropy, Alison Sansome, the woman behind Be There Bedtime Stories, understands the deep bonds that develop in families by reading to each other.   Her site isn’t just for military families, but for anyone on their own initiative who wants to use it.  She is offering the first ten military families who e-mail programs@bluestarfam.org the chance to use this service free.

“I was inspired to build the site because of my frustration being so far from my nieces - unable to be a part of their development and unable to be recognized when I would visit once a year,” Sansome explains. 

The program uses webcam recording.  There are approximately 100 titles in her online bookstore.  All you have to do is read the story in front of a webcam, and the Be There Bedtime Stories website creates a video recording as you read, then places it directly on each page of the e-book, and your story is instantly accessible to watch by unlimited people, unlimited times. It requires no coordination across time zones and will be archived for use in the future.

“The coolest result from our testing was to discover how much kids want to read back,” Sansome says. “So even if soldiers are unable to access a webcam and read a story while deployed, kids can show off their reading and storytelling skills by creating a story recording for their parents or grandparents to watch them grow--no matter how far apart.”

Learn more by watching storytellers on the website: www.betherebedtimestories.com 

Militarykidz

  If you have a few minutes in a busy day, check out  militarykidz! It’s a really cute and fun website for military children, set up like a military base, with an ID card and check in at the gate.  Sign up for a card and explore the site, starting with the communications center, where you can learn about and practice Morse Code, semaphore signaling and even Braille. There’s lots of educational content too about the history of signing, the alphabet, and so on.  There’s a Boot Camp section where you can learn about military ranks, medals, music, and drill movements.  Take a minute to read the guest book, where kids comment on the website (from  “I’m bored--there are no games!” to “I miss my daddy”).  A very fun project overall, sure to make you smile at some points and say “I didn’t know that” at others.  The graphics are really cute, including the drill sergeant (right) who welcomes you to Boot Camp.

Learning More

The stresses on military families are attracting a great deal of attention among graduate student as subjects for theses and dissertations.  Marinewives.com has a survey page currently listing twelve research projects, most of them academic, as well as links to other pages where additional surveys can be found.  

Graduate students are asking for participants in studies such as this one from the University of California at Santa Barbara: 

“The purpose of this study is to examine how military wives talk to their deployed husbands about the stressors they experience when their husband is away in a combat situation. You will be asked a series of questions on a variety of topics you may discuss with your husband, including stressors you experience while he is deployed and topics about family matters.” 

This is a good sign that awareness of this at-risk population is growing.  Hopefully there will be a means for results to be shared outside the academic community, and that some of these graduate students will be so impacted by this research that they choose a path of service to those who serve.

Making Service Local

One of the big problems with an all-volunteer military in war time is that call-ups affect reserve and National Guard troops, who often live far away from bases or communities likely to have support services for military families.

 An Indiana-based organization, the NMFI,  is working to address this for residents of that state, which has 23,674 active and reserve members, mostly Army National Guard, with 1,800 deployed and 3,600  deploying in January 2012.

Most of the activities center around libraries and schools, including a Heroes Tree, where libraries place a tree on site and people are encouraged to make ornaments honoring servicemembers past and present.  Activities such as these help to keep servicemembers on people’s minds. 

 Along with program resources, libraries also are provided with leaflets called How to Help Military Families  which offers suggestions customized for childcare providers, faith-based groups, employers, health care professionals, neighbors and others.  

The institute partners with the Center for Deployment Psychology to provide training sessions for health care providers, marriage and family therapists, and mental health professionals. Additionally, the institute has shipped 1,300 training kits to primary care doctors within the state.

One example of the problem the program is trying to address is Evansville, which has a fairly large military unit. It is 76 miles away from a VA medical center, and the closest child psychologist is about 100 miles away, Columbus, Indiana has Camp Atterbury and will soon have a small active-duty unit. More than 50,000 troops have deployed after training there, yet there is relatively little child care and no after-hours care. 

Dirtbags and Bikes

When is a dirtbag not a dirtbag? When it is a group of cyclists from communities around Central California’s Vandenberg Air Force Base, who join forces every year to provide new bicycles and helmets to children of service members.

“Our mission is simple,” the Village Dirtbags say. “Provide bikes and helmets to families of VAFB's deployed service members. The Christmas Bikes program is our way of supporting, and showing appreciation for, America's finest and their courageous families.”

In 2006, the first year of Christmas Bikes,they gave away 12 bikes and helmets. By 2009 they reached 95, and their goal for 2010’s even on December 18 is 100 or more. Each bike and helmet is chosen specifically for a particular child, and the photos at their gallery at Christmas Bikes 2008 and Christmas Bikes 2009 show just how true this is.

Last year, three disabled veterans also got custom made bikes that cost around a thousand dollars apiece, a program that the Village Dirtbags hope to continue.

This is another philanthropic group whose love for what they do and desire to share their enthusiasm with military children makes it a wonderful thing to support. Here’s a Brochure and Contribution Form.

Win-Win-Win

This seems like a nice win-win-win for the holidays. Atlantic Beach Children for Peace (pictured to the right) will present the original musical "Christmas Glee" this weekend. The price of admission? An unwrapped toy for a child age one to fourteen for a gift giveaway at the local community center. Many at the giveaway are children of active military members in the local area.

The musical is written, directed, and produced by Eve Beardall, who wrote an original song "Christmas by the Sea," especially for it.

It must be complicated for military parents this time of year. There are a lot of giveaways for military children, especially around the holidays and the start of school. I sometimes wonder what the recipients and their parents really feel about this, because in our culture direct charity of this sort is difficult to accept. It creates a feeling of inequality between the donor and the recipient, and though there may be financial inequality, we all want to feel equal in other ways. How does it feel to be in the midst of other people’s plenty, and be treated as if they think you wouldn’t have any of it without them? Toys are great, but not if they come with even a hint of pity or condescension. It’s a rare person who is truly comfortable with others feeling sorry for him or her.

Hopefully these toy giveaways are presented in the spirit of saying thank you, that the parents and children feel as if they are being repaid for services they have performed. That's one of the reasons I like the Atlantic Beach Children for Peace idea. These children are performing a service to repay a service. Everybody wins--the performers because they get to do something they love, the audience, because they get to enjoy the show, and the military children, who will have something under the tree that shows that kids feel a bond with kids, and that when we appreciate each other through gifts of all sorts, whether it’s a song, or an action figure, or a parent off at war, everyone comes out the better for it.

The Mission Continues

Whatever else one might think of Goldman Sachs after the economic meltdown it contributed to, the company has stepped up to serve military children.  I wrote a few months back about the imminent loss of Operation Purple summer camps for children of deployed and wounded military.  The funding source for those camps dried up as a result of the financial woes of the time.  Goldman Sachs has now announced a $20 million partnership with The Mission Continues, an award-winning national non-profit organization. The investment will be used to fund a network of non-profit organizations that serve returning veterans and their families over the five year life of the program. 

Though the primary focus of the partnership will be  professional development, personal growth opportunities, a future employment plan, and job placement for veterans , another goal is family support and counseling. The first  partner in this mission will be the National Military Family Association, which will receive a grant of $1 million for its Operation Purple ® camps for military children.  A program which looked as if it was headed for closure will now have spaces for 2500 children of servicemembers.“

“Goldman Sachs Gives is proud to work with a network of veterans organizations, like The Mission Continues, that are providing a range of support services for wounded veterans and their families,” says Dina Habib Powell, managing director and Global Head of Corporate Engagement. “Supporting our veterans can have a significant impact both in the lives of individuals and the broader communities where they work and live.”

“BRATS: Our Journey Home” Premieres Tomorrow, December 10

 The term “brat” apparently was attached to military children as a result of the British acronym, “British Regimental Attached Traveler. “BRATS: Our Journey Home,” is a film festival award winning documentary  exploring the lives of today’s “brats” and their families.  More than 1.5 million children are “military brats” today, and approximately 15 million Americans grew up that way.

The social and psychological difficulties experienced by today’s military children are growing better documented by the month, and this documentary attempts to educate the public and give military children a voice through the medium of film. “I want this documentary to give families the opportunity to talk about their feelings and share their experiences, and help their children grow positively in a military family environment, even if part of that family experience is traumatic,” says filmmaker and fellow Brat, Donna Musil.  Musil lost her father in the Vietnam war, and experienced not only the death itself but the trauma of suddenly leaving military life as a result of it. 

Musil started a 501(c)(3) educational non-profit group, Brats Without Borders, in 1999 to help create a way for the voices of military children and families to be heard. “Adult brats” experience significant levels of divorce, as well as drug and alcohol abuse, and generally don’t have a means to connect the difficulties of their early life with their current problems.  Musil hopes her film will address this. 

“BRATS: Our Journey Home” is a two-hour documentary narrated by “adult brat,” Kris Kristofferson, and featuring General Norman Schwarzkopf. It can be seen on Discovery’s Military Channel during the month of December. The North American television premiere is on Friday, December 10, 2010, at 9 p.m. EST. For more details about the film go to www.bratsfilm.com

"Oftentimes We're It for that Child"

Angelica Jordan, a second- and third-grade Spanish teacher at Mannheim Elementary School in Mannheim, Germany, was honored yesterday at the Pentagon as the 2011 Defense Department Education Activity’s Teacher of the Year.The Teacher of the Year program honors the contribution excellent, committed teachers make to the quality of life for military families in the fourteen districts serving military children around the world.

“DOD teachers are experts at welcoming brand new students into the classroom and wishing them farewell when they [move],” she said. “Military teachers understand that, often times, we’re it for that kid. A parent may be deployed in harm’s way, and the parent that’s home is working and taking care of the kids and doing everything they can to keep it together for that year.”

Jordan taught at-risk youth in Minnesota for nine years before taking an assignment with DoDEA. “I felt truly called to be part of the military community where I can make a difference in the life of a child, because I felt like I could understand their worries and fears about losing a parent,” she said. “Their parents could be deployed, and they may or not come home, and I can really relate to military kids, because I was missing a parent.”

“When the kids come to our classroom, they deserve to be loved and respected,” she said, “and when kids come to DoDEA schools, they need to know that it’s going to be consistent, that it’s going to be the same every day, and that they are going to be cared for.” The photo to the right shows some of the children at Mannheim Elementary School.

Coming to the Pentagon helped Jordan to realize that “I am part of more than Mannheim Elementary School, that I’m a part of more than DOD Europe. I’m part of a huge system that’s here to support the teachers, and my primary role is supporting military families.”

Watching Over You

For the youngest children who serve in our military, those under five, a new storybook has just come out that might make a perfect gift. Dear Baby, I'm Watching Over You written by Carol Casey and illustrated by Mark Braught, is written as a love letter from a parent to a child, explaining at the child’s level what service to country means and why a parent is away so much of the time.The idea is to convey the parent’s continuing deep love even when he or she is not there to show it.

  

An especially sweet feature of the book is a "Roll Call" page where the person who has read this to or with a child can write his or her name and the date.  The book also comes with a yearbook feature to write down memories of the year to share upon the parent’s return.

One Amazon reviewer says, “I read this book to my 3 year old son. It was given to us as a gift. It is such a great book about how the military member truly misses and watches over their babies/kids. I have read it over and over and it never fails, I always tear up. I would give this book to anyone going through a deployment with children.”

Another says, “This is the perfect book for the young child (ages 3-5) whose parent has deployed. Each illustration perfectly captures the everyday life of the child waiting at home matched with the everyday life of the parent who's away. This book will help bridge the gap and drive home the message of love from parent to child and back again.”  

A third adds, “This book does an amazing job of explaining why mom/dad has to deploy. I have two children, 3 and 5, who have went through multiple deployments and really enjoy reading the book. I would recommend Dear Baby, I'm Watching Over You to any family with little ones who have questions about why their parent has to leave.”

Of Thee I Sing

If you are looking for a book to give a child during the holiday season, you might want to consider President Obama’s children’s book, Of Thee I Sing. Written by Obama before he took office, the book celebrates a country "made up of people of every kind," where individuals across the spectrum make unique contributions.

The group includes five women and eight men, ranging from our nation’s legendary heroes such as George Washington and Abraham Lincoln; to civil rights leaders Martin Luther King and César Chávez; to artists Georgia O'Keefe, Maya Lin, and Billie Holiday; and to a wide range of others including Sitting Bull, immigrant American Albert Einstein, Jackie Robinson, Neil Armstrong), Jane Addams, and Helen Keller.

Each of these, Obama writes, "made bright lights shine by sharing their unique gifts and giving us courage to lift one another up ... to work and build upon all that is good in our nation."

"Have I told you that they are all a part of you?" he asks his daughters, to whom the book is addressed. "Have I told you that you are one of them and that you are the future?"

Barack Obama has already established himself as a successful author of adult books with both his memoir "Dreams from My Father" and his political book "The Audacity of Hope" enjoying solid sales around the globe.

Of Thee I SIng, features features illustrations by popular children's book artist Loren Long ("Otis") as well as collaborations with other notables including Madonna and Frank McCourt.

But here’s the best part: Obama will not receive any profits from the book. All post-tax proceeds from sales of "Of Thee I Sing" will be donated to a scholarship fund for the children of soldiers who have been killed or disabled.  You can buy a beautiful book and know that not a token donation but all the proceeds will be helping others.  And by the way, if you are considering buying Sarah Palin’s new book, please note that she has expressed no such generosity.  Last I heard, the profits from her best seller are all going to her.